hello. my name is cameron, and i have the grumps.

Full disclosure here, I am terribly grumpy; I have been for a few weeks now.  So, why am I sharing my grumpiness with you?  Well,  I suppose for no reason other than honesty.  I can’t have everyone thinking that I suddenly got my act together 🙂

I’m pretty sure that the boys got together and discussed how they could best drive their mother insane.  Jacob, my normally eager to please little guy, has started throwing massive fits over the smallest and most routine requests and doesn’t seem to care about the consequences.  Fun.   Liam, my headstrong little boy has become even more headstrong (who knew that was possible?!) add to that his extremely limited vocabulary and our complete failure to keep him in his own bed at night and it makes for an exhausting day, and a not so restful night.  And then there’s my Noah.  He’s not even one (less than two weeks until his first birthday!) so there’s not much he does that isn’t just plain adorable.  But he’s going through a mama-only stage (meaning he screams bloody murder if I’m not holding him all.day.long) and he’s upped his nursing in the middle of the night.  So by the end of the day I’m just plain tired and when morning comes around all too soon, I’m already looking forward to nap time.  You can see how this wicked little cycle would get out of control quickly.  And that’s just what I’ve been lately.  A bit out of control.

I am so ready for warmer weather.  The boys need to be able to burn off some pent-up energy and I need to recharge in the sunshine.  Being a California girl through and through, I need the sun.  It’s coming though, it is.  The warmer weather, it’s on the way.  I woke up to the sun shinning through the blinds this morning and it looks promising outside.  Brighter days are on the horizon, and it gives me hope!

So instead of focusing on what has been bringing me down, like I’ve been doing for the last few weeks, I’m going to focus on things that I love and that make me happy.  I do believe that for the most part, my mood is under my control.  I can choose to be happy and focus on what makes me happy or I can focus on what is less than perfect and become consumed by it.  And I’m not going to lie, the Zoloft sure helps 🙂 So here are a few things, in no particular order, that make me happy, bring a smile to my face or are just plain good for me.

flowers! pretty scarfs! fluffy kittens!  coffee!  my boys!  sunshine!

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Great Dane

Great Dane (Photo credit: Darwin Bell)

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Liam at only a few weeks

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Chicken Noah!

one of my favorite pictures of Jacob

one of my favorite pictures of Jacob

spring scarfs!

spring scarfs!

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Ah, even just posting these helped bring a smile to my face 🙂

The thing about these grumpy times is that they pass, even though it feels like I will forever be grumpy when I’m in the midst of a ‘grump’ time.  But they do pass, and I although I won’t go so far as to say that I’m thankful for them, they do make me appreciate my life a little more.  They also provide important reminders for me; I’m not a martyr and I don’t need to sacrifice myself, my aspirations, interests and goals and sanity for the greater good.  Talk to almost any parent and it’s clear that this is one of those things that we forget more than we should.  And for me, it takes a good few weeks of being completely miserable to remember that!  Also, spending some much-needed one on one time with my squishy Noah while shopping and grabbing some delicious Panera Bread certainly helped bring me out of the grumps 🙂

somebody loves bbq chicken salad!

somebody loves bbq chicken salad!

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So today will be a good day.  We’re coloring Easter eggs, I’m getting some time in at the gym (allergies and a cough that sets my lungs on fire has kept me out this week!) we’ll take the kids out to run around in the sunshine later and I’ll pick up the house (again), finish the never-ending laundry and play referee to some crazy kids.  Hey, I said it was going to be a good day, not a perfect day 😉

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